The Journey With Annabel: December 15, 2012

Our Little Santa Girl @ 22 weeks

I am definitely the kind of person who over-thinks things. I tend to psych myself out in thinking things are going to be much worse, or complicated, than they actually end up being. But when I went for my ultrasound at Vanderbilt on the 10th I honestly did think it would be just a quick routine thing. I didn't think too much about it, having just had a Level 2 ultrasound the week before at the hospital where I thought I was going to deliver (more on that later). In fact, I was actually a bit annoyed that I was having to go through yet another one, particularly since we are now out of network with our insurance, and I have been very concerned about the various costs that we are incurring, which our insurance company has denied coverage for.

Yet again, the day was rainy, dreary and cold. And yet again we were running late thanks to my dear husband who tends to easily lose track of time. I was annoyed, but not particularly nervous, when he dropped me off at the crosswalk and I made my way into the building and up to the 9th floor where he momentarily joined me.

The wait was short and I was called back so they could get my weight and blood pressure before taking us into the ultrasound room. Things were moving very quickly here, and for that I was thankful. We were introduced to Roseanne, who did a wonderful job on my ultrasound - no pain whatsoever, which was a huge relief, and Dr. Bennett - who is the OB/GYN who will oversee my ultrasounds. She was quick to inform us that the pediatric cardiologist had decided that she wants me to deliver at Vanderbilt. My heart sank. Not only did that mean I would lose my precious doctor, but more importantly it meant that they felt Annabel's heart situation warranted her being close to the cardiologist at birth. By now I have come to accept that nothing with this pregnancy is going to go according to plan, and for the most part I'm okay with that. Of course I have a lot of fears over the unknown, but I am also well aware that there is nothing I can do to control any aspect of this and I have to roll with the punches, whatever they may be. People tell me I'm brave, and that they are surprised at how positive I am with everything we've been dealt. I don't consider myself brave because most of the time I'm scared out of my mind, and being positive is all I can be, because what's the alternative? I have to have faith that everything is going to be okay and that some day soon I will be holding my precious baby girl in my arms and looking back on all of this as a very distant memory.

I won't bore you with the specifics of the remainder of the visit, but it went very well and was much more detailed and information-packed than I ever thought. We were there for well over two hours. I can honestly say that I feel 100% okay with being cared for at Vanderbilt. I was treated like I was the only patient in the world. Since we have been given a diagnosis of Down syndrome and a heart condition we are under the care of the Junior League Fetal Center. With all of the stress we have going on in our lives, dealing with the details of scheduling and such is already overwhelming. They take that stress away from me and schedule all of my appointments, including doctor visits, testing, hospital tours and anything else I might need. We met with two of the wonderful ladies from the Fetal Center - Nancy and Patti, and they made me feel so comfortable and well-cared for. I am so very thankful for them and their care and kindness.

I have been assigned a new OB, who I will see for the first time next week. Next month I will be touring the hospital's Labor and Delivery, NICU, Down syndrome clinic, and working with the Fetal Center on my birth plan.

Daddy and Grandpa putting the crib together

On 12/12/12 my fabulous husband and dad set up the nursery with the furniture we had just purchased from Craigslist. We got a wonderful deal on high quality furniture. I love going into Annabel's room and feeling the softness of her clothes, organizing her things and dreaming of the day when she is in her crib, waiting for mama to come get her in the morning. I try to imagine what she will look like, what her voice will sound like. Will she be wailing with impatience, or will she be quietly playing with her toys as she waits?

I have the most wonderful friends and family, and were it not for them I would feel very discouraged and down, but they have kept me in great spirits with their love, prayers and care packages. I am so thankful for everyone's positive spirit and support through this difficult pregnancy. Now that I can feel Annabel's kicks and punches on a regular basis I am enjoying the pregnancy so much more. I no longer live in a constant state of fear, worrying that she's not okay in there. Feeling her move gives me such peace and never ceases to make me smile, even though she often jabs me pretty good when I'm eating, which makes me nauseous! She's a high-spirited girl, and I love that about her.

Until next time I leave you with a few random photos...